This Slay queens are funny at times

*MY SHORT STORY*

*WHEN YOUR DRESSING BECOMES AN INCONVENIENCE*

I sat with a young girl in the Keke this morning, the kind they call *'slay queen.'* She has a condom tight sleeveless top with a very skimpy red velvet material skirt which is very short. All the while we were in the Keke, she kept on pulling and pulling to make sure the upper part of her laps isn't showing.

In fact, if not that I was a good boy, I would have taken a careless look and feast my eyes on her white panties(don't even ask me how I knew that she was putting on white pants😂😂😂).

So we alighted at the same bus stop, I paid, she did the same. She gave the driver #1000 and received #950 in return. She left in a seemingly hurry, pretending to have an important appointment to catch up with. But I am quite sure she wasn't comfortable with the stares of the bike men, she was hurrying to escape their seductively mischievous looks, I was following from behind, not trailing shaa(before you start thinking something else).

While she hurried away, she was fumbling with her purse, I guess she was trying to place the balance the driver gave her securely safe into her purse. Then it happened, #500 note slipped from her hand and fell on the ground.

Gbagam! Yawa don gas, Kasala don burst! Since I started writing down this story until now, she was still looking around, staring in all four cardinal directions. Just like the psalmist said in Psalm 121, she was looking up to the mountain to know the best posture to take while picking her money from the ground.

Well, I wasn't in a hurry, I decided to spend sometime and watch her as she demystify the mystery. And the bike men, hehehehehe, they too surrounded her just the same way mountains surround Jerusalem. Aunty, Shebi you don't have good clothes to wear?, Odimma. You must expose that your inner self today or forfeit your #500 😂😂😂.

At a point, she was looking at me somehow, giving me signs to help her pick the money. Haba, see this one ooo. Me that Karma has decided to use against you sef, you're here wanting me to disappoint Miss Karma Bitch. It won't work for you nne.

Finally, she couldn't risk her showing us her ass and picking up her money, I guess she is still a learner in the *slay queen academy,* she still has some *Spirit of Shame and Timidity.* She left her money and walked away. She sacrificed her half a thousand Naira on the *Altar of Nudity and Indecency.*

Well, when I was still in the seminary, Our Rector always say that wasting something is a sin, be it food, wine, money, even common water. He always advised us not to waste or encourage wastage and I didn't want to be called a sinner anytime soon. While she walked away, I kukuma picked up the money and went my own way too. I don't support wasting, I want to go to heaven jare.

Una Good Afternoon oooo......for more stories and jokes visit laughtertheater.blogspot.com

THE FORBIDDEN LOVE

Episode 9
As long as I had waited for this day and as happy as I should have been, I was still very sad about what happened between me and uncle Sam. I couldn’t just smile at the tall building that was standing in front of me with ‘Girls hostel’ written on it. I wanted to be happy that I was finally going to experience the life as a boarder but I just couldn’t take my mind off everything. I put on a fake smile as my dad helped me with my suitcases. My mother who carried her bag and just my pillow in her hands was smiling warmly at me. I guess she still thought I was sad about leaving home. My sister on the other hand really looked sad that I was leaving. She took my buckets out of the trunk and went to stand beside my mum, not saying a single word. I felt really bad that I was leaving her but it had been the decision of our parents to make me boarder. I couldn’t even console her. I was just too weak to be in any other mood. We walked into the gates after greeting the security guards who stood there. They even helped with some of my items which made it easier for us while one of the security guards directed us to where we were supposed to get checked in. We walked about five minutes until we came to a point where five women were seated at a table under a canopy. They looked like the ‘house mothers’ like I usually hear the boarders call them. They looked a little old except two who looked like they were in their early thirties. They smiled at us as we approached them. My dad and mum who had been smiling all the way from home greeted them and exchanged words before I was asked to open my suitcases for search. They said it was a normal thing since provisions and some other things weren’t allowed, they needed to make sure there was no contraband brought to the hostel.
“Did you label your items with your name written on them?” one of the house mothers asked.
I nodded my head and muttered a “yes ma” while I and my dad were asked to sign some papers. After I was being checked in, they told me to say my goodbyes as my family weren’t allowed further at that point. After holding everything in, the tears that had built up since began to drop and I cried as I hugged them. I didn’t just cry because I was going to miss them. I cried because all of a sudden I became scared. While clinging to them, one of the house mothers called me a baby and asked to take my things to room seven on the second floor. I waved my family goodbye as I watch them leave the premises. I carried the lightest items and hoped that I would find someone to help me with the rest and just when I was thinking about it, one of the young house mothers decided to help with some of my belongings. She just kept smiling at me which made me feel a little better. On getting to room seven on the second floor, I heard one of my friends, Annabelle talking loudly. As I opened the door of room seven, I saw some of my mates seated at a corner in the room, just talking. By the time they looked up, they all shouted “Meso!!! Meso!!!” as they ran towards me. Smiling, I hugged them one after the other. They collected my belongings from the house mother who had helped me carry some of them and they all followed me to get the rest. I don’t know what happened but all of a sudden, my sadness dissolved and I was filled with joy.
After about two hours, I was done unpacking. My friends had helped me with most of the unpacking. They arranged my clothes into the closet, they arranged my bed and helped me with a few other things. Not long after, I heard the bell ring and asked Annabelle the reason for the bell.
giphy-21
“It’s time for dinner,” Anabelle said. She hadn’t stopped smiling ever since I arrived.
“I’m so happy you’re here” She had said earlier.
I said, “okay” and followed them as we all left the room to the dining hall which was a two minutes walk from the girls hostel. We all got into the hall and went to take our seats. The hall was a big one indeed, the hostel boys and girls shared it and so it was flooded with a lot of students. I looked around while seated on my chair amazed at the plenty students that came in. From the senior boys and girls to the junior boys and girls, all in our house wear. The junior girls had a long ugly looking gown while the senior girls had a different type of gown but much more good looking. Same as the boys with the juniors in shorts and seniors in trousers. You could tell the difference from the way they dressed and also the way they behaved. You could see the junior boys like the ones in my set, Ayo and co, running around and playing in their short bodies while the senior boys strolled in coolly with their hands in their pockets. I noticed senior Daniel among the midst of some of the other senior boys laughing and chatting but I looked away not wanting him to notice me yet.
“Everyone settle down and keep quiet,” I heard the senior prefect boy shout and immediately the hall was as quiet as a graveyard. “Shall we pray,” he said again and everyone stood up with their heads bowed and eyes closed.
The next thing I heard was “For the food we are about to eat, we thank you oh lord” echoing all over the hall before they took their seats again. They began to call row by row to line up for their food. While I and my friends were still waiting to be called on, we kept on chatting until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked at who had tapped me and saw a junior boy holding a plate with a piece of meat in his hands.
“Senior Daniel said I should give you this,” looking at him confused, I told him I didn’t want it. I mean how did he even know I was around. I didn’t even tell him I was going to be a boarder. I guessed he had seen me too. The boy refused to return it and said senior Daniel had said not to go back without handing the plate of meat to me. I sighed and collected the plate from his hands before he dashed out of sight.
“If you don’t want it, give me oo. You people will just be forming for school father again,” Funke who had probably been eyeing the meat said.
I just laughed and handed her the plate of meat before our row was called to get our food. After dinner, the same junior boy who had brought the plate of meat earlier came walking towards me.
“Senior Daniel said he wants to see you now,” he said. “He is beside the palm tree just outside the dining hall”
I nodded at his message and went immediately to see him. I already waved my friends bye and told them I would see them in the hostel. On getting to the place the junior boy had described, I saw senior Daniel leaning coolly on the palm tree.
“Hey! my baby,” he said when he saw me.
I smiled and greeted him with a ‘good evening’.
“You know, you can just say ‘hey dad’ or ‘hello dad’ or ‘hey Daniel’ you don’t have to be so formal. I’m not the house master. Anyway, how are you?
“I’m fine,” I replied.
“You know I’m angry with you,” he said again.
Smiling I said, “Did I do something wrong?”
“Your number one offence is you were coming to the hostel as a boarder and you didn’t even tell me. Two, you rejected my meat, you think I didn’t see you ehn and three you can’t even hug your school father. Chai!! My life”
“No now, it’s not…” before I could complete my statement he completed it for me.
“like that. I know oo. It’s not always like that.” he said and opened his arms gesturing me to hug him in which I did.
“I’m just teasing you but I’m still angry oo” he said but before we could talk further, I heard and saw someone call his name while walking up to us.
“Daniel, the senior prefect boy is calling you” the other senior boy said.
I’m guessing it was his friend because I used to see them hanging around together. Senior Daniel who heard this told me to go back to my hostel, that he would see me later and immediately he followed the other boy as they walked towards the boys hostel. I guessed he couldn’t say no to the senior prefect since he was still a class below him so he had to leave.
To be continued

Why I want to Sleep with Mayweather- Maheeda

Why I want to sleep with Floyd Mayweather…, Maheeda reveals

2 days ago

Nigerian singer and Nudist, Caroline Sam, AKA Maheeda has revealed why she wants to sleep with the undefeated Welterweight Boxing Champion, Floyd Mayweather,

Recall that the Nudist took to her Instagram to invite the champion for s*x when he won the UFC champion.

But in a chat with Sunday snoop, Maheeda disclosed that she likes her men strong and Mayweather looks like a man that treats a woman well in bed.

She also added that she is not after his money, but only want good love and experience.

“Mayweather is the type of man I like. I like them strong, determined and focused, and he looks like a man that would know how to treat a woman well in bed.”

‘’Contrary to what people think, I’m not after him for his money, I just want him to give me some good loving.

”I’m sure he would also enjoy the experience with me.”

THE FORBIDDEN LOVE

 Episode 7
Five days later, after school on Friday, Uncle Sam came to pick me and Esther. I begged my parents earlier to let me spend the night with Esther and uncle Sam at uncle Sam’s place since I wasn’t going to have the opportunity to do that when I go to the hostel. Uncle Sam also helped to beg and told my parents to let me so that we could have fun together before I go to the hostel. I packed I and Esther’s clothes into a small suitcase and uncle Sam put it into the trunk of his car. Before we drove off, my mum told uncle Sam to bring us back before noon the next day so that we could finish the school shopping and get ready to go to the hostel on Sunday.
“Yes ma! No problem!!! We will be back soon. Don’t miss us oo,” uncle Sam replied my mum before starting the engine and driving off.
Esther who sat behind me while I was seated in front, at the passenger’s seat just kept waving at my mum until she was out of sight. In no time, we were at his place. I got down from the car, went directly to open Esther’s door and was about to open the trunk of uncle Sam’s car when he told me not to worry, that he would help us with it. He said we were his guests and didn’t want to give us stress so he told us not to do anything except to ask him what we wanted to eat or do. We got inside and uncle Sam directed us to the room we would be sleeping in. He told us to change and come out to watch the television or eat whatever we wanted. He even mentioned ice cream being in the freezer which made Esther jump happily.
“My refrigerator is all yours, in fact, my house is all yours,” He had said laughing.
I went into the room he had assigned us with Esther and brought out comfortable clothes for us to wear. Esther was putting on one of her princess dress like she always calls it so I got her to change into something much better. I was putting on jeans and a simple blouse so I just change the jeans into some shorts instead. After we were done changing, we went into the sitting to join uncle Sam who had also changed into a shirt and shorts. My sister immediately went to meet him and asked for the ice cream he had mentioned earlier. Funny Esther, he stood up and they both left for the kitchen. While they were dishing out their ice cream, I was going through my phone to be sure I wasn’t missing a call or message. There wasn’t a missed call or message so I dropped my phone aside and looked around in search of the remote control to the television. When I spotted it on the table beside the chair uncle Sam had been sitting on, I stood up to go get it when I heard uncle Sam and Esther approaching from the kitchen. I looked up and saw them with cups of ice cream in their hands.
Uncle Sam’s pov
After dishing out the ice cream for Esther, she insisted I dished her mine and her sister’s as well. Esther the ever caring girl and so I did as I was told and we left the kitchen with Esther smiling. When we got to the sitting room, my eyes noticed Meso straight away who also looked up the moment we approached the room. She looked as beautiful as ever. I wanted to take her right there at that moment but we weren’t alone, so I managed to hold myself to behave. I gave her the ice cream we had dished for her and we all sat down to enjoy the moment. I noticed she had already changed the channel to one of those her shows she enjoyed watching but Esther who wanted to watch something else started whining.
“I want to watch cartoon, Meso please..,” Esther said.
Meso who already guessed she was going to do that, shook her head and sighed in annoyance before changing the channel to a cartoon station. I couldn’t help myself but to stare at her every movement. I only took my eyes off when I felt she noticed I was staring and pretended to press my phone. I was going crazy for her. I just couldn’t understand why I hadn’t felt this way for a woman before. It got to a point I even opened the camera app on my phone and pointed it towards her direction in order for me to stare at her beauty without anyone noticing. I zoomed the camera until I could see every part of her body since she was sitting down on the couch across where I sat. My eyes scanned from the gorgeous eyes that sparkles in my mind to the fresh thighs that laid marvellously on the couch. I just couldn’t understand why I couldn’t control myself at that moment. I had to confess my love for her. I needed to let her know so I would probably feel better. I needed to do something. My heart was beating so fast and I didn’t feel comfortable anymore.
Meso’s pov
I felt so restless since I wasn’t able to watch my show because of Esther who wanted to watch her cartoon. Instead of looking around, I decided to play games on my phone but I wasn’t feeling comfortable because I felt like I was being watched by something or someone so I looked up to uncle Sam who sat across me and saw that he was busy with his phone. I guess it was just a misconception. I went back to my phone and not long after, uncle Sam spoke, standing up;
“Meso, please can you come with me. I need you to help me with something.”
“Okay uncle, I’m coming,” I said as I stood up and followed him.
He was going into his bedroom and so I followed behind. Esther who didn’t seem to care or notice just kept on watching her cartoon. When I got into his room, uncle Sam went to sit by the chair that stood beside the table in his room while he gestured for me to sit on his bed. I couldn’t understand why because he had said to follow him so I could help him with something. I didn’t say anything, I just did as I was told waited patiently for him to talk. I actually thought he was going to give me one of those lectures about school. The ones on facing your studies and being a good girl since that had been the only talk ever since my family and relatives heard I was going to become a boarder until I heard him say;
“Meso, I’m in love with you.”
I was still confused because I didn’t know where this was heading to until he left the chair he was seated on and went on his knees right in front of me.
“Meso, I love you with all my heart. I want to make love with you. I want to you to be all mine. I want you in my arms. I can’t hold it any longer.” He kept on saying, still leaving me in shock and confusion.
Make love with you?…..all mine?….you in my arms?. It kept on repeating in my mind because I was trying to understand the meaning of all he was saying. “Uncle Sam, I don’t understand you.” I remember saying to him.
“Let’s just do it now, just once and we keep it a secret,” he said, taking his shirt off.
That was when I realized what uncle Sam had been trying to say. He wanted me to have sex with him. I stood up immediately trying to step away from him but I wasn’t fast enough because he went straight to the door and locked it, keeping the key to the door on a high shelf that stood beside his closet. My heart was pounding as I was trying to process everything. In my heart, I was hoping it was a dream. I looked into my uncle’s eyes and I swear I was terrified of him. I had never seen him with so much hunger in his eyes, so desperate and so scary. I wished I had seen the devil instead. I moved back when I realised he was coming towards me.
“Uncle Sam, please, please. Don’t hurt me. I beg you uncle Sam,” I said while he was moving closer to me.
“Meso, I really don’t want to harm you. I just want you to love me back. I promise you’ll enjoy it. Just give me a chance Meso, my love. I love you with all my heart. I promise you’ll like it.”
Uncle Sam’s pov
I could see the fear in her eyes, I knew she was going to hate me after this but I just couldn’t control myself. I needed her as much as I needed the air I breathe. I wanted to be all over her. I noticed the tear that dropped from her eyes as she started crying.
Meso’s pov
I cried and pleaded with uncle Sam but he wouldn’t listen. I ran to the door and started banging on it, hoping Esther or some neighbours would hear but I guess that made uncle Sam mad and so he dragged me away from the door and threw me on the bed. Before I could even move, he started placing kisses all over my body. He tried to kiss me on the lips but I kept moving my face, trying to get away from his grip but he was too strong. He held me down so tight and manage to take off my clothes. I was left in my underwear and him, in his boxers. I told myself I could still escape and kept struggling but it was all a waste when he finally got what he wanted. He raped me and kept placing kisses all over my body despite my cries and pleas. He had taken my virginity, my dignity I had lost. I could only feel pain after he was done. He laid beside me, panting like a dog until he sighed and stood up. He looked down at me and said;
“Meso, why you doing like this now? You’ll be acting like you didn’t enjoy it. Oya go and clean up in the washroom. Let me change the bedsheet because there’s blood everywhere.”
I laid there in shock, with no words in my mouth. My heart ached like it had never, like it had been pierced with a sword. I thought I was going to die of shock because I still couldn’t believe uncle Sam would do this to me. Uncle Sam who people liked and praised like he was our father. He ruined me, I felt my life had fallen and shattered like a broken glass.
To be continued…

THE FORBIDDEN LOVE

 Episode 5
I fidgeted when he looked back at me because it just felt awkward. He moved forward towards me and finally spoke up.
Stammering and squeezing his face in disgust he said, “They…they share th…that at my work pla…place so that we could give all these people who need it”
I said “okay” and swallowed the remaining saliva in my mouth until it was as dry as a dead dingo’s donger. Something about his statement didn’t sound okay, but I didn’t object. I immediately opened the last drawer and saw the blue paper he had asked me to grab. Standing up, I said “I found the paper” in order to break the silence even though he knew that already.
Uncle Sam’s POV
“How could I have been so stupid to send her to those drawers,” I said in my mind when Meso handed me the paper I had asked her to fetch for me. I was so sure Meso would look at me as a different person and always suspect. I was so angry and upset at my stupidity, but I made sure I maintained myself in order for Meso not to suspect anything. We later left the bedroom for the car. I was to take Meso home because it was already getting late. I didn’t want her parents to start calling and getting worried because we left since 12:00pm in the afternoon.
“Meso, I hope you had a nice time,” I said when we got into the car. She looked so beautiful and I couldn’t just resist staring at her. Puberty was really in her favour because everyday she kept looking more beautiful. I wanted to have her in my arms and my arms alone. My heart ached every time I realized she was just my niece. Am I wrong for thinking this way? I asked myself that question everyday.
“Yes!!! it was fun hanging out with you Sam. I really enjoyed myself.” Meso replied with enthusiasm bringing me back to life from my deep thoughts.
“I’m glad you did” I said smiling and winked at her. I drove her home and in less than an hour, we were at the house. I could hear Esther already jumping and screaming in happiness.
“Uncle Sam!!! Uncle Sam!!!” she yelled my name as she ran to hug me.
“My baby, how are you?” I said to her.
“I’m fine uncle Sam, I missed you guys. You left me all alone in the house.” she said.
I comforted her and gave her what Meso picked for her at the mall. She was excited when she saw her gift and that gave me peace of mind. At least, she wouldn’t have to whine again. I kissed their foreheads and bade them goodbye before leaving for my house.
Meso’s POV
I sighed as I jumped into the bath to take a shower. I had a lot of fun with uncle Sam. I couldn’t believe the day had finally come to an end. I closed my eyes and allowed myself feel the warmth of the shower drops that fell on my skin. I was really enjoying the shower until I remembered senior Daniel called earlier and told me to call back when I was free. In less than twenty minutes, I was out of the shower. I wore my nighties and cuddled up in bed. Picking up my phone, I realized I had a missed call and it was from senior Daniel. I didn’t know he called because I didn’t even hear it ring, but I decided to call back so I dialled his number and waited patiently for him to pick up. It was already past nine in the evening, I wasn’t sure if it was okay to call back at that time but I continued anyway since he called first. When he picked up the call, he asked how I was, sounding so excited. I told him I was fine and apologized for missing his call the first time he called. He said it was okay and we kept on talking on random things. We talked for about thirty minutes until senior Daniel asked If I had a boyfriend. I squeezed my face in confusion and tried to understand why everyone had to ask me if I have a boyfriend. I was about to reply when I heard my mum call my name.
“Please senior, can we talk tomorrow? My mum is calling me.” I said standing up from the bed.
He said,”okay” and I ended the call before going to answer my mum.
When I got to the sitting room where my mum sat, I walked up to her and greeted her before asking her why I was called. She said she just wanted to see me since I went for an outing. She asked me about my outing, if I had a good time or not. She was fond of doing that everytime we were taken out for an excursion by my school or outing by uncle Sam, so it was normal when she asked. I told her about everything we did, from the lunch we had in sweet sensation to the movie we watched at the theatre, but I didn’t mention what I had seen in uncle Sam’s second drawer. I wasn’t really close to my mum, but I shared a few things with her. After a few minutes, I hugged her goodnight and went to bed.
It was a very beautiful day when I woke up the next day, it was a Saturday. Although Saturday was one of my dreadful days because that day was a thorough cleaning day. It took all our might and strength to fully clean the house. My parents were always so particular about cleaning, we would be asked to clean from the corners of the walls in the house to the part that demarcates the house from the street. When I said my morning prayers, as usual, I went straight to my phone to see if I had any message. I didn’t get any so I dropped the phone on the table in my room. Esther was still sleeping beside my bed. We had two beds in the room so I arranged mine and left Esther still sleeping. My mum made me do more chores since I got to secondary school. She said I was growing up and I needed to learn how to do the chores even when Frank doesn’t do it so I swept the whole house both inside and outside the house. Frank’s job was to take the bins out, watch the gutters right outside the house and wash the cars. After a few hours of working and sweating, we rounded up and went to take a shower. Esther had already taken her bath so later on, I joined her on the dining table to have brunch because on Saturdays, none of us barely had breakfast due to the cleaning. Later that same day, I was struck with menstrual pain. I rolled and rolled on the bed with my sister petting me and saying sorry. I cried because I was in pain. My mum just gave me a cup of unsweetened tea and some drugs. I even got calls from senior Daniel, uncle Sam and Anabelle, one of my friends but I didn’t pick any of their calls because I was in so much pain. I couldn’t understand why girls/women had to go through such pain. I slept off after a few hours even with the excruciating pain. I made sure I forced myself to sleep because I just couldn’t take it anymore. I woke up after a while and felt much better so I was able to reply my missed calls and messages. While chatting with senior Daniel, he asked me to answer the question I had asked earlier and so I told him I didn’t have a boyfriend. He asked if he could call me but I told him I wasn’t in the mood to talk so he didn’t call. Instead, he said he would talk to me the next day and ended his message with, “Goodnight, my baby.”
To be continued…

DO YOU REALLY KNOW THE CAT?

 The cat is considered the cleanest Animal on earth, This is so because of its physical appearance and behaviour, some of its characteristics include:
- it(cat) doesn't expose it stool: this is so serious, when ever a cat wants to defecate, it must look for a more convenient area where it can easy open/dig with its hand and then bury it feces. Isn't that great?

- The cat holds it breathe when eating, isn't that ridiculous??, yes it is, the cat does not like anything dirty in around its food, that is why it hold it breathe so as not to pour the carbonivoxide in its food and this is the most tragic of all because no human have/can practice such habit, for other animals, don't it's also possible.

- The cat is very sensitive when it has to do with it body, e.g whenever SB/sth touches the cat's body, it must make sure that it (cat)has cleaned it thoroughly with immediate effects before any other thing...... It characteristics is so numerous to mention, if u need more or have any contribution don't hesitate to comment it below, thank you for your time.

YOU MUST LAUGH

1. Davido said 30 billion for
the account. You will hear
Girls shouting only that
part. My dear you didn't hear when he said i go Chuk
you Chukuchuku oo?
# issoryt_continue.
2. Someone just asked me if
i could go back to JSS1' if
offered 20 million dollars.
Hmmmm.... I think i will
go back sha, but not really
because of the money.
There are some topics
i didn't understand very
well, like # Shorthand &
# Intro_Tech.
3. Do you ever just stare at
an incoming call as your
phone rings, waiting for it
to Hang up so you can
continue using your
phone??? If yes.
# You_are_evil_with_passion.
4. Some people say
Lightning is God taking
Screenshots of the Earth
for Judgment day, So if
you are Masturbating
and you hear "Praaaaaa"
abeg just forget it?
It's over..... No Heaven for you.
# Lemme_come_and_ be_going.
5. Witchcraft is when you
ask your Neighbor's Son
for # Salt and only for him
to say his Mother has
Counted it.
6. Shout out to all the Girls
who don't sweep their
Parents house, But will be
forming # Environmental_Sanitation when they visit
their Boyfriend's house.
I would have said
something now but
Lemme just keep quite first.
7. Louis Vuitton Umbrella
for 93k. Abeg does it Cover
Shame?.
8. Things don too dey too
bad now ooo, Even the
Ororo inside Condom sef
don reduce.
# Lemme_kukuma_dey_go.
9. Some Men are focused on
Opening their own Company, Others are focusing on
hacking a $10 billion
transaction while you
are just there guessing
your Girlfriend password
to read her Whatsapp &
Facebook Messages...
Brother is it Fever?? # Come_Lemme_Touc h_Your_Head.
10. If you want to know if a
Girl has strength, try
removing her trouser
when she knows she is
wearing a Dirty pant.
# Awon_Slayqueen.
11. Na so i asked one
Slaymama what a Candle
is. She said
.
. .
Scroll down a little bit
please
.
.
. .
.
.
.
A candle is a Fruit.
# Na_so_i_faint.
12. Fine Girl like you, just
because of Small itching
you start Scratching your
# Anuslike Recharge Card in Public.. Ahhh # Aunty_Oni_Lapal apa.
13. People who Rape Girls/
Women are so Useless.
Imagine spending 25
years in jail just for one
Round.
# prayer_for_the_ Fools.
14. To those # Slim_Girls who
go for jogging at Dawn,
Abeg what do you want to
lose again... Is it your Life?.
15. To all those Girls who
visit their Bf's and put their phones in Airplane Mode..
Weldone Miss Pilot, Your
plane will crash one day.
16. I thought i have seen it
all until i saw Her eating
# EBA with Hand Gloves.
Chai.... Nobody, I repeat
Nobody should hold me
# Just_leave_me_Lemme_faint.
17. You are Slim, No ass, No
boobs, Yet you keep
visiting the Gym daily.
Sister are you Contesting
with # Selfie_Stick or you are going for MISS SELFIE
STICK 2017.
# issoryt_lemme_be_going.
18. How can you tell me
Chris Brown asked you out
on 2go??
# Naija_girls_can _lie.
19. Somebody will hug you
and your phone will be
missing....
Is that not an Example of
Nigeria's got talent.
# Naija_i_respect _una_hustle.
20. Uncle because your Crush
now Lives in your area,
You will now be wearing
Suit to fetch water..
# Bros_behave.
21. Kogi people, please it's
not "Ear force. But Air force!!
# Stop_giving_me_headache.
22. Some boys don't go to the gym but look physically
fit becos of running from one girl to another..
#bros-na- joke- oh
23.. How do you make a Girl
run mad in two days.
First buy iphone 8 for her.
Secondly, send area boys
to steal it.
# You can thank me later.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

THE FORBIDDEN LOVE

 Episode 4
 I excused myself and picked the call right in front of uncle Sam. He just kept staring at me with a very straight face. I couldn’t really tell if he was angry or not. I mean, it’s just a phone call right. “Hello?” I said when I picked the call. “How are you meso? I just called to say hi” senior Daniel replied. “I am fine senior Daniel.” I said. “No, no, no. You don’t need to call me senior Daniel. Just call me Daniel. I am your school father now.” H said. “Okay, I’m sorry Daniel. I won’t call you by senior Daniel again.” I replied. “That’s much better, my baby” he said. “My baby?” I questioned myself in my mind. “What are you doing? i hope i’m not disrupting anything.” senior Daniel said. “I’m actually busy with my uncle”, “Oh!!! so sorry. Then I’ll call you later. Just call me when you’re free” He said and I replied with an okay before we ended the call. Dropping the phone back on the table, uncle Sam finally spoke up. “Who was that? your boyfriend abi? you’ve started dating ehn?” “No uncle Sam, He’s not my boyfriend oo, I don’t have any boyfriend. He is just my school father.” I replied. “You don’t know that’s how it all starts. Don’t pay attention to them oo. You don’t know I’m the one that’ll marry you.” He said with a smile. I just laughed because it was not the first time he was saying it and he reminded me of my dad. My dad would always say that to me when he’s trying to tell me to forget boys and not have boyfriends. When we were almost done with our meal, uncle Sam cleared his throat and told me he wanted to tell me something. “my princess, do you know I like you. I love you so much. In fact, my love for you cannot be found in this world” “Unc..” I was about to call him uncle Sam before I remembered he didn’t like it. “Sam, (it still sounded weird for me to call him that but I did anyway), I love you too, we all love you. You are a very nice man. Even my friends tell me especially after you bought things for them the day you took all of us out.” I said. He just smiled when I stopped talking and replied, “No, Meso, I don’t mean that. I…….don’t worry” I couldn’t understand what was going on or what he was trying to say, but he just smiled. We finished our meal and waited for some time before we left the restaurant. When we got into the car, uncle Sam didn’t start the engine immediately. He looked up at me and leaned in closer to me. I thought he was trying to grab something from my side of the car, but he pecked me on my cheeks instead and whispered, “I love you”. There was something different in his voice especially the way he said he loved me. it didn’t really sound like the uncle Sam I knew. He sounded more like a different man. I was just eleven, almost twelve so I didn’t really suspect anything. He was just my uncle afterall. He later started the engine, asking me where I wanted to go so I told him I want to go to the movies and so we left the scene. When we got to the movies, he bought me popcorn and a Pepsi and got the same for himself. It wasn’t time for the movie we picked to watch and so we went to check out some other things. The movie theatre was in a big shopping mall, so we decided to go site seeing and possibly buy something for Esther. An hour later, we were back to the movie theatre. We took our seats on the third row, right in the middle. During the movie, uncle Sam kept on glancing at me. I just smiled whenever I caught him stare. I was enjoying the movie, so I paid little attention to what he said or did. I laughed almost every single minute and couldn’t control myself even uncle Sam noticed how much I was enjoying the movie. Two hours later, we were done and we left the cinema. Uncle Sam told me he wanted to get something from his house and so drove there immediately. When we got into his house, he asked if I was hungry. I laughed and asked him if he wanted to kill me with food so he got the message that I wasn’t hungry. He dropped his keys on the table and asked me to follow him to his bedroom. I didn’t see anything wrong with it because he was my uncle so I followed him. We got into his room and he went to his closest immediately. I guess he wanted to grab something. I just went for the bed. I was about to sit on the bed when he said I should check in the drawers beside his bed for a blue paper. I was guessing it was an important document so I reached for the drawers and opened the first one. I didn’t see any blue paper so I decided to check the other two drawers below the first one. When I opened the second one, my eyes automatically became big. I saw a drawer filled with what looked like condom, although they were all still in its pack, I didn’t stop at staring. I decided to touch one and I realized it did feel like what they had brought to class one time during our integrated science period. My teacher had shown us a condom when she was teaching on a topic under reproduction. She made everyone get a feel of what it looked like. She didn’t encourage anyone to use it. Especially because we were still young so she wouldn’t expect anyone to be having sex but she told us that, it was one of the ways people prevented STDs or getting pregnant. To my guess, I concluded it was a condom. I turned back to see if uncle Sam noticed what I had seen, and just about that same moment I turned back, he turned as well. He looked down to the drawer and realized what I saw. My heart started pounding like I just saw the devil. To be continued

THE FORBIDDEN LOVE

 Episode 4
I excused myself and picked the call right in front of uncle Sam. He just kept staring at me with a very straight face. I couldn’t really tell if he was angry or not. I mean, it’s just a phone call right. “Hello?” I said when I picked the call. “How are you meso? I just called to say hi” senior Daniel replied. “I am fine senior Daniel.” I said. “No, no, no. You don’t need to call me senior Daniel. Just call me Daniel. I am your school father now.” H said. “Okay, I’m sorry Daniel. I won’t call you by senior Daniel again.” I replied. “That’s much better, my baby” he said. “My baby?” I questioned myself in my mind. “What are you doing? i hope i’m not disrupting anything.” senior Daniel said. “I’m actually busy with my uncle”, “Oh!!! so sorry. Then I’ll call you later. Just call me when you’re free” He said and I replied with an okay before we ended the call. Dropping the phone back on the table, uncle Sam finally spoke up. “Who was that? your boyfriend abi? you’ve started dating ehn?” “No uncle Sam, He’s not my boyfriend oo, I don’t have any boyfriend. He is just my school father.” I replied. “You don’t know that’s how it all starts. Don’t pay attention to them oo. You don’t know I’m the one that’ll marry you.” He said with a smile. I just laughed because it was not the first time he was saying it and he reminded me of my dad. My dad would always say that to me when he’s trying to tell me to forget boys and not have boyfriends. When we were almost done with our meal, uncle Sam cleared his throat and told me he wanted to tell me something. “my princess, do you know I like you. I love you so much. In fact, my love for you cannot be found in this world” “Unc..” I was about to call him uncle Sam before I remembered he didn’t like it. “Sam, (it still sounded weird for me to call him that but I did anyway), I love you too, we all love you. You are a very nice man. Even my friends tell me especially after you bought things for them the day you took all of us out.” I said. He just smiled when I stopped talking and replied, “No, Meso, I don’t mean that. I…….don’t worry” I couldn’t understand what was going on or what he was trying to say, but he just smiled. We finished our meal and waited for some time before we left the restaurant. When we got into the car, uncle Sam didn’t start the engine immediately. He looked up at me and leaned in closer to me. I thought he was trying to grab something from my side of the car, but he pecked me on my cheeks instead and whispered, “I love you”. There was something different in his voice especially the way he said he loved me. it didn’t really sound like the uncle Sam I knew. He sounded more like a different man. I was just eleven, almost twelve so I didn’t really suspect anything. He was just my uncle afterall. He later started the engine, asking me where I wanted to go so I told him I want to go to the movies and so we left the scene. When we got to the movies, he bought me popcorn and a Pepsi and got the same for himself. It wasn’t time for the movie we picked to watch and so we went to check out some other things. The movie theatre was in a big shopping mall, so we decided to go site seeing and possibly buy something for Esther. An hour later, we were back to the movie theatre. We took our seats on the third row, right in the middle. During the movie, uncle Sam kept on glancing at me. I just smiled whenever I caught him stare. I was enjoying the movie, so I paid little attention to what he said or did. I laughed almost every single minute and couldn’t control myself even uncle Sam noticed how much I was enjoying the movie. Two hours later, we were done and we left the cinema. Uncle Sam told me he wanted to get something from his house and so drove there immediately. When we got into his house, he asked if I was hungry. I laughed and asked him if he wanted to kill me with food so he got the message that I wasn’t hungry. He dropped his keys on the table and asked me to follow him to his bedroom. I didn’t see anything wrong with it because he was my uncle so I followed him. We got into his room and he went to his closest immediately. I guess he wanted to grab something. I just went for the bed. I was about to sit on the bed when he said I should check in the drawers beside his bed for a blue paper. I was guessing it was an important document so I reached for the drawers and opened the first one. I didn’t see any blue paper so I decided to check the other two drawers below the first one. When I opened the second one, my eyes automatically became big. I saw a drawer filled with what looked like condom, although they were all still in its pack, I didn’t stop at staring. I decided to touch one and I realized it did feel like what they had brought to class one time during our integrated science period. My teacher had shown us a condom when she was teaching on a topic under reproduction. She made everyone get a feel of what it looked like. She didn’t encourage anyone to use it. Especially because we were still young so she wouldn’t expect anyone to be having sex but she told us that, it was one of the ways people prevented STDs or getting pregnant. To my guess, I concluded it was a condom. I turned back to see if uncle Sam noticed what I had seen, and just about that same moment I turned back, he turned as well. He looked down to the drawer and realized what I saw. My heart started pounding like I just saw the devil. To be continued

THE FORBIDDEN LOVE

#forbidden_love

 Episode 3 
After I was done with what I was doing, I decided to open the message that I received earlier. I took my phone and cuddled up in bed before finally opening the message. I hissed when I saw this before it was just one of those mtn messages. I didn’t know why I reacted that way because I wasn’t even expecting a message. I was about to open the snake game on my phone when another message came in. I opened the message and behold it wasn’t from mtn again, it was from a number that I hadn’t seen before so I decided to read it first. It was my senior, I mean my new school father who was just asking how about my well being. He did seem like a pretty nice senior. I smiled and replied his message before saving his number as senior daniel. I decided to take a nap before reading so that I could feel refreshed. My day was really long. giphy-10 I decided to take a nap before reading….. A few hours later, I woke up a few minutes before eight o’clock. I still felt like sleeping, but I knew I had to read because tomorrow was my first paper in secondary school. My sister was already done with her exams. She was just in primary four so they always finished exams and school early. Older cousins already told me about secondary school and how I needed to read very well for my exams because it was not the same as primary school even though I used to come out as top of my class. I read until it was twelve o’clock and went to bed because I had to wake up early for school. A week later, I was done with my exams, I was so happy that finally I could watch my favourite shows that I couldn’t watch during exams. When I got home, I went to take a shower, change into comfortable clothes and went into the sitting room immediately before Frank called me to come take my food. I carried my food and went to sit down on the couch closest to the television. Thank goodness my sister wasn’t there, we would have had to wrestle for the remote control and couch. While eating and watching my show, my phone rang. When I saw the caller id, I was happy because it was from uncle Sam so I picked it up without hesitation. “My princess, how are you?” he said. I told him I was fine and that I just concluded my exams. He did sound happy for me or maybe for himself. He told he hadn’t called me since because he didn’t want to disturb me and my exams. I smiled and sighed because I just saw him as a nice man. Even though I had a father who cared about me, I felt more comfortable and happier around uncle Sam. Not just because, he bought us gifts and all but because he just was always there for us. I could see the love he had for us, I still couldn’t understand why he wasn’t ready to settle down. Before he ended the call, he told me, he was coming to pick me up tomorrow for our outing and so I should get ready before it was 12:00pm. I told him I needed to ask my parents for permission but he said he already asked them for me and they were fine with it and so I agreed. “Goodnight, I love you”, he said and I replied with “Goodnight” but he called my name with a little anger in his tone. “Yes?” I answered with confusion. “You don’t like saying you love me too when I say I love you or don’t you love me?” when he said this, I laughed because I never expected him to say something like that and so I apologized and innocently told him I loved him too before he ended the call with a sigh. The next day, when I woke up, I did my little house chores before going to take a shower. After that, I went to look for a nice cloth to wear. I brought out a purple blouse that uncle Sam had gotten for me and one of my black jeans. After dressing up, I combed my relaxed hair and decided to leave it down. When I was done, I went to the sitting room to wait for him. My sister was already feeling so sad that I was being taken out without her so I tried to console her and told her that it would be her turn next time since uncle Sam said so. I gave her my phone to play games to make her feel a little better but not long after, it rang and so I collected it from her and picked the call. It was uncle Sam, he said he would be in my house in five minutes and exactly five minutes later, he was at the door. My sister quickly ran to hug him when she heard his voice. She started acting really sad around him and uncle Sam immediately guessed what was wrong so he promised her that it would be her turn next time and he would take just her out, he even promised to buy her something when we go out. Her lips began to curve into a smile and soon enough we all departed in happiness. Uncle Sam was just a natural. He was good at everything, I just couldn’t believe he could be so perfect in everything. We got into the car and drove off. On our way, he asked where I wanted to go to first and I told him anywhere he was willing to take me as I did not have anywhere in mind yet so he said we would go have lunch first and maybe I’ll be alive by then. I laughed when he said so because I was actually hungry. I didn’t have breakfast in the morning because I knew uncle Sam would spoil me with food and snacks when we go out. After about one hour of driving and sleeping in traffic, we finally got to sweet sensation, one of my favourite restaurants. He parked and we both hopped out of the car. When we got into the restaurant, we went straight to order food at the counter. I ordered my usual rice and roasted chicken with plantain and he ordered grilled fish with rice and moi-moi. A meal he enjoyed whenever we ordered food there. We took our tray of food and went to look for a seat. We found one at the far end of the restaurant, just in a corner and so went to sit there. He smiled when we sat and I smiled back at him in confusion. “I’m glad I’m here alone with you”, he finally said. I just smiled at him, feeling so shy. He even complimented me and called me his beautiful angel. My shyness at that moment knew no bounds, but I felt happy and different about the compliment. The way he complimented me left me feeling like a girl, like I was loved and I was at peace. We were having our lunch and gisting, when my phone that was just right beside my tray started ringing. I looked at the caller id and realized it was senior Daniel. Looking back up, I noticed uncle Sam squeezing his face but I wanted to pick the call. To be continued.

THE FORBIDDEN LOVE

       

 Episode 2
 The next day, when I woke up, I got down from my bed, went on my knees and said my morning prayers. You already guessed what I did next, I reached out for my phone from under my pillow, but I couldn’t find it. I rolled my eyes….. I rolled my eyes….. knowing that my sister probably took it since she already told me she would always use my phone to play games. “Esther!!! Esther!!!” I yelled out my sister’s name as I went into the sitting room to look for her. I didn’t know my mum was sitting down on one of the couches so I continued yelling. “so you cannot greet abi”, my mum said. “oh! mummy, sorry. I didn’t know you were here. Good morning!” I greeted. “Ehen, morning! why are you looking for Esther like this” she replied. “I don’t know if she took my phone” “E biago ozo!(meaning: you have come again in Igbo language) If you guys like, don’t get ready for church. I and your father will leave without you people and you’ll have to trek, so if you like, get ready, if you don’t like, don’t get ready” My mum said and exited the room. I left the sitting room as well and headed for the kitchen. That was when I found Esther using my phone with Frank. I quickly went to them and grabbed it from her hand. They both growled, but I scolded Esther for not asking me for permission before taking it. “Na because say you don get phone now, that’s why pesin no go hear word”Frank said. I looked at him with an angry look and left the kitchen as Esther followed behind. We went to our room to prepare for Church and not long after, we were ready. We could hear the horn of our dad’s car signaling for us to come outside so we could go to Church. I put my phone into my Church bag as I always called it and left the room with Esther. After Church, my parents had a meeting in Church both for men and women as usual and so we hung out with our friends while we waited for them. I was talking to one of my friends when I heard my phone ring. I checked the caller ID and realized it was my uncle calling so I excused myself. All my friends were already jumping up and screaming excitedly when they saw my new phone because they thought I wouldn’t be getting a phone anytime soon. “Hello?”, I said as I picked the call. “My baby, how are you?” uncle Sam said. “I’m fine” I replied. “This one you’re sounding so cold, what is wrong with you?” he asked but I told him I was fine, I just needed rest and so he got relaxed. He said he just wanted to hear my voice since I didn’t reply his message yesterday night so he told me to end the call so we could text each other instead. I ended the call and a minute later, I got a message from uncle Sam and we started chatting, but I went back to meet my friends while we were chatting. Meanwhile, my friends were still hailing me and I felt my cheeks turn red with excitement and embarrassment. A few minutes later, my mum and dad were through with their meeting so we all left for our house. When we got home, I went straight to the room, took off my Sunday wear and switched into more comfortable clothes. Immediately, I took out my phone from my bag and continued chatting with uncle Sam. We were chatting about random things until he texted “Meso, I want to ask you something and please be sincere with me oo” I looked at the text confused because I couldn’t guess what he was going to ask me. “Do you have a boyfriend?” The next text read. I opened my mouth when I saw this because it never even crossed my mind and It was weird that my uncle had to be the first to ask. I replied with a “no!!! uncle Sam, I’m still a small girl now” but he just replied with; “Hmmm, small girl ke. Do you know how many of your mates that already have boyfriends or are even married? You’re talking about small. You’re not a small girl oo” “But my parents still say I’m small, and if my mummy should even find out I have a boyfriend, she’ll bury me alive.” “hahahaha, Meso you’re so funny. I’ll tell your mum” “Ahh uncle sam, please oo. I’m just joking oo” “I know, I wasn’t going to tell anyway. That reminds me, I want to take you out”, he finally said. “Oh!! but we are yet to have our first term exams so mummy and daddy will not want us going out,” I replied. “who is we?” he asked. “Esther and I now” “No I don’t mean the both of you, I want to take just you out” “But why would you want to take just me out?” I asked. “Because it’s your turn this time, next time it will be only Esther but that will be after your exams since you’ll be having your exams now” I agreed and so he said we’ll talk later. I smiled at my phone and was just so excited that I was now taken as a big girl. In a month’s time, I would be turning twelve and I couldn’t wait. Two weeks later…. I was sitting all alone in a class, waiting for one of my friends to be done with her extra lessons when Micheal, one of my class mates came in. “hey meso!!” he called out. “hey mike”, I replied. “senior Daniel is calling you” Micheal said. I couldn’t figure out why he was calling me. Senior Daniel was one of the ss2 boys who people said was wicked. I was very scared of talking to seniors because I didn’t want to be punished for any little thing. So I summoned up courage and went to the ss2 floor, looking through the classes hoping to see senior Daniel who called me. Before I got to the last class, he came out from the class and smiled at me when he saw me. I smiled back, not knowing the reason for it. Immediately, he told me to follow him and I followed behind. We got to a bench not too far from the tuck shop, where they sold snacks and food, he sat down on the bench, gesturing me to sit beside him and so I did. He started off by asking If I was scared and I told him I was scared a little. He just told me to relax because he meant no harm and so I became at ease. Senior Daniel only told me he wanted to take care of me as my school father. He told me he was ready to help me with anything and since I would be starting with my first term exam as a jss1 student, I shouldn’t hesitate to meet him if I needed any help. I just couldn’t understand where all this came from because I had never even spoken to him. I nodded because I knew it was normal for a senior boy or girl to make you their school daughter or son. Before we left, he asked If I had a phone so he could always call to make sure I was okay and so I said yes and gave him my number. We left the scene and I went to check if my friend was done with her lesson. I was a bit excited because I now had a school father. Some of my friends were already posing with their school fathers and trying to make every other person Jealous. When I got home, it was a few minutes past 4:00pm and so I went into my room to take off my uniform, Esther was already sleeping as usual. Before I could even take my clothes off, I got a message. I didn’t want to open it just yet because I needed to do some things so I dropped the phone aside and left to do what I had to do. To be continuedForbidden love Episode 2

THE FORBIDDEN LOVE

Episode 1

“Welcome uncle Sam!!!!” I screamed as I hugged him after opening the door. “How are you, my dear?”, he had replied. Uncle sam was one of my favourite uncles. He would bring a lot of gifts for me and my sister whenever he came for visits. He would take us out and spend time with us. Some people even started calling him our second father because of the relationship he had with us. He was my father’s only brother. He wasn’t married even though he was about twenty-six years old, but he lived a comfortable lifestyle alone in a very fine bungalow. On the other hand, I lived with my parents, my sister, Esther and the house help, Francis who we usually called Frank.
‘Where is your sister?” Uncle Sam asked.
“She is sleeping”, I replied.
“And your parents?”, he asked further.
“They’re out”, I replied again.
“And Where is Frank?”
“Uncle Sam, it seems like you missed everyone oo, this one you’re asking about them like this?” I replied.
“Eh! Yes! yes, I did. So where is Frank?” He asked again and so I told him he went out with my parents. Immediately I said so, he smiled.
“So we are the only ones around?” He said.
“Yes and Esther”.
He moved from behind the couch where he had been standing and sat on the couch.
“Meso!!!” He called my nickname just as everyone did.
“Yes, uncle Sam”. “I’ve told you to be calling me Sam, not uncle Sam, you know I’m not as old as your Father”, he said as he winked at me.
“But uncle Sam, you know mama will slap me when she hears me say your name without adding the uncle before it,” I argued.
“Oya, call me by my name only when we are alone”, he said and I nodded in response. I asked him what he had brought for us this time. He simply gestured his hands for me to sit beside him. I skipped happily as I sat down close to him. He gave me the fancy looking bag that he had been holding and I collected it immediately. Excited to see what was inside, I removed the first item my hand was able to grasp. It was a nice looking blouse, I smiled when I saw it, but he said it was for my sister so I reached into the bag to grab something else. This time, I grabbed a blouse again, this one even fancier than the first. He said it was for my sister again. This happened for two more rounds until I spoke up. “Uncle Sam, this bag is already getting slimmer oo”, I squeezed my face, but he insisted that I kept checking so I reached for another Item and this time, It didn’t feel the same as the other items I had reached for. Some parts of this item had soft spots while the other parts had a harder spot. I squeezed my face as I brought out the item. Behold it was a bra.
I looked puzzled when I saw this, but uncle Sam just smiled at me and said, “They told me that you are now a big girl so I just decided to buy this one since that is what big girls wear”.
Indeed, my adolescence stage was running ahead of me as I had started growing breasts and seeing my monthly flow just at the age of eleven, but I was just surprised that my uncle would get bras and panties for me. I was happy that I could add to my collection from the ones my mum got for me, but I felt very embarrassed because even my father had never had to buy girly things like this for me. My mother was always the one who took care of the female issues. I slowly muttered a ‘thank you’ before he said “So, go and try them, let me see”. I looked at him in confusion and said. “Ahh Sam, I can’t wear these ones in front of you oo”. He just laughed and said that I shouldn’t be shy because he even remembers carrying me naked in his arms when I was a baby. I only used my hands to hide my face from embarrassment but I didn’t try them on. While I was about to leave with the gifts he got for us, he held my hands and pulled me back.
“There is one last thing you haven’t opened”, he said as he handed me another fancy looking bag, but this one was way smaller.
I smiled and collected it with excitement as I dug in to find out what it was. My eyes almost fell out when I saw it was a brand new phone still in its pack and a sim card. I screamed and screamed with excitement as he laughed at my joy. I always wanted a phone but my parents always told me I was still too young to be using one. Even though I told them that my classmates already had phones they still insisted that I wait till I was a bit older. “Uncle Sam, thank you! thank you!”, I blurted out as I hugged him but he squeezed his face instead of smiling with me. “Uncle Sam, did I say something wrong”, I asked but he squeezed his face even more before he opened up.
“Haven’t I told you to stop calling me Uncle Sam? Call me Sam or don’t talk to me again oo” he said squeezed his face while giving me the baby attitude.
I nodded in agreement and said I was sorry before he smiled at me.
The bell rang and I dashed out to see who was at the door, my parents and Frank had returned from their outing. “Daddy good evening, mummy good evening!” I said as I opened the door for them to come in.
“Ehen, my dear. How are you? Where is Esther?” my mum asked.
“Mummy, I’m fine and Esther is sleeping. Uncle Sam is around and you will not believe what he bought for us” I replied. They all smiled when I said so. I helped them with the things they bought and placed them on the kitchen counter as most of the items were kitchen tools and food items. As we entered the sitting room, I quickly ran to show them my new phone with excitement. But they were busy greeting each other until my mum spoke out;
“Meso, this your phone is fine, it is even finer than my own but wait oo, you know you can’t start using a phone now right”.
I whined and squeezed my face, trying to protest before uncle Sam cut in. “Ahh aunty, leave Meso alone oo, she is now a big girl, many of her mates are now using phones sef”.
I looked at my dad and gave him the signal to help me plead before he nodded in agreement that I should be allowed to have a phone. I was so excited that I ran to my room with the gifts uncle Sam got for me and my sister without even showing them the other things he got for us. By the time I got into my room where I share with my sister, she was already awake. My sister who was three years younger than me liked to have the same thing I had so I knew she would go ask for hers when I show her my new phone. Like I imagined, she jumped up happily when I told her uncle Sam was around but ran out to ask for her own phone when I showed her mine. Uncle Sam simply told her that she would get hers when she is older. I felt really happy because I started seeing myself as a big girl. After a few hours, around past nine in the night, uncle Sam came to our room to say goodnight. He came and sat on our bed before he started speaking to us. He told us that we should always call him whenever we wanted something or needed help and that since I now had a phone, I shouldn’t hesitate to contact him everyday. He hugged us, kissed our foreheads and said he loved us before going out through the door.
That night, I set up my phone and left it to charge for a while before taking it with me to my bed. My sister had already killed my ears with “I’ll be playing games on your phone now”. I smiled at my Nokia 3310 and closed my eyes to go to sleep before a message came in. And it read:
“My princess, I hope you like this new gift I got for you. Like I said before, don’t hesitate to contact me when you need anything okay? And dial this code on your phone so that you can be credited with five hundred naira. *222*12347781736282# Goodnight. I love you”.
I smiled at my phone before falling to sleep…

To be continued.